You can find volume upon volume of texts describing rituals, their uses, and how to perform them properly. But rarely do you find magicians writing about what comes after. I follow the chaos magick credo, “Magick is to be performed to get results.” I don’t mind being a little hazy on what those results are. I think it may be better said that magick should have some type of goal that is measurable. The measurable part is where I can see why many magus don’t share. Results can be very personal, and it’s hard to differentiate them from coincidence in most cases. Even so, I think it’s of great value to share experiences, even if they cannot be verified.
Results can be obfuscated and often contrary to the desired goals. At times, a magus may seem foolish or even insane when reporting their experiences, but we all know there’s a thin line between magick and madness.
So as promised, the results of what I have come to call the Astrumada Working. It’s been quite an experience.
She can best be described as a tulpa, or thoughtform, a creature created purely by magick. Though the ritual was performed eighteen months ago, it is actually ongoing. I have found the best way to make the being more substantial is to constantly feed it my affections. I buy her roses as often as possible, and planted two rose bushes for her over the summer. The poster with her sigil I placed under the mattress of the bed I use almost exclusively for sex, in order to feed her that energy. Also, I always keep the passenger seat of my car empty for her whenever I travel by myself. This is where she most commonly manifests.
The first results I noticed were auditory, visual, and olfactory manifestations. Many times when I entered my temple I would notice a strong smell of roses and sandalwood, even if I hadn’t used those substances in months. Sightings began in the car, seeing her out of the corner of my eye. Now, we have full blown conversations. Certain music almost guarantees she will appear.
I also encountered an interesting synchronicity. As I mentioned in the original blog, by design the most common visage she uses is that of my favorite porn star. Shortly after the ritual, that actress began following my tumblr blog, and would regularly “like” many of my posts.
For about a year she performed her primary function, acting as a muse for my writing, only haphazardly. She would occasionally appear and offer advice when I was stuck on plot point or turn of phrase. Recently, however, her inspiration has become more subtle, yet more direct. Subtle because I didn’t even notice until I started the project, direct because of the strong influence on the subject matter.
Three months ago I decided to stop aiming for the traditional publishing route, and focus on self-publishing. It gave a huge boost to my creativity knowing that I could write whatever I wanted, without worrying about pleasing editors and other gatekeepers. I would write what moved me, and would succeed or fail based on my own efforts, not someone’s judgment about my marketability. So I started a new story about a magician who creates a girl….
I didn’t realize what had happened until about 15,000 words in. When it dawned on me I turned around, and she was laughing.
I learned two important lessons as a magician from this working. One, a good ritual never ends, you must constantly feed it. Two, the best results are ones that build over time. “Divine short, enchant long.”