“In a world that’s gone hellishly mad we’ve always taken comfort in the fact that the faith of our fathers is the one thing that remains solid and unchanging. It occurs to very few of us that perhaps for the last 2,500 years the faith of our fathers has been one of the main reasons why our world has gone hellishly mad.”
– Lon Milo DuQuette
I knew about Aleister Crowley at age eleven. My brother’s Ozzy Ozbourne records saw to that. I am guessing many of you spent your youth in libraries, just like me. Believe it or not, all the way back then, my tiny, red brick, Midwestern public library in the suburbs of Chicago contained a copy of Magick in Theory and Practice. I never got to check it out because some high school kids had stolen it right before I could lay my hands on it. They did, however, let me read a few pages. I probably understood as much as they did.
So I went to pick over what remained of the section, impressive in retrospect for an institution of its size. I remember copying an Enochian talisman out of a book, the title I forget. Most of that came to a stop when I selected a book out of the section much more accessible to an imaginative Catholic boy – The Demonologist. How could I go wrong?
I did. Full title–The Demonologist: The Extraordinary Career of Ed and Lorraine Warren. In it, two devote Catholic do-gooders do battle with the forces of darkness. They describe going into demon infested houses (including the infamous Amityville horror) and kicking but on the forces of Satan. It went to great lengths to describe the hellish tortures I should be expecting both on Earth and in the afterlife should I play around with “evil magic.” It scared the shit out of me, and set me back spiritually into the realm of fear and ignorance for another decade. I’m not saying they didn’t encounter spirits or they set out to dupe the public. I don’t know, wasn’t there. I do take exception at their, my side vs. their side, mentality
To tell the truth, the fear instilled in that book followed me through my pagan years. Yeah, I may have a different side, but I still believed contacting those evil critters would lead to no good. It took another twenty years to reach where I am now. Only recently have I reached the conclusion that just about everything taught to me in my youth, especially the shit I’m supposed to be afraid of, is a lie. With that gem of wisdom under my belt, I now finally feel ready to get to know my demons. After all, if they’re against all the shit that I’m against, I might find some new friends. Or, if not directly an ally, they may help me understand what I need to get rid of.
Lately, I started working on my first summoning. I won’t put the details here. In short, I lean towards the chaos tradition, and although I look towards the Goetia for inspiration, my methods are my own. I have noticed a lack of material on the subject, so if you would like more details feel free to contact me.
The most important thing I’ve learned in this short period is that sometimes you need a demon to fight a demon. In medieval times, religious scholars speculated that thousands of tiny demons surround us all the time. They tempt us, try to corrupt us, and generally make a nuisance of themselves. While searching for the right demon to contact, I suddenly became aware of the ones already surrounding me. I knew I didn’t need more of those assholes. Or did I?
I know now the demons that plague me do so because they sense something in me they can exploit. What I needed was a better demon, one that could feed from these negative traits and give them back to me in positive ways. Despite my best efforts, I have selves that refuse to part from me. Aspects of my personality that come back again and again at the wrong moments. It may be easier to reconcile with some of them rather than exorcise them.
Some of you reading this may still be afraid. You think I’m playing with fire. I could use a lot more old sayings to back up my case, but none would change your mind. I can only say that by overcoming this fear I made some great breakthroughs. Do you want fear to prevent you from making yours? Yes, I’ll make mistakes, but I’ve made plenty of those before.
If any of you do decide to meet some demons, please ask them if they know Astrumada.